Tuesday, November 23, 2004

I've been listening to U2's new album for most of this day. I can't say it's one of my favorite albums but it is growing on me. It's actually a little hard for me to listen to because some of the songs remind me of a past relationship. For some reason, U2's albums always hit me at particular moments in my life. "All That You Can't Leave Behind" did that a few years ago and now this one is doing the same.

I've been thinking about moving to Portland, Oregon for the past two months and it seems that some things are falling into place that that might actually be the direction that God is leading me towards. There is an opportunity there for me to advance in my profession and continuing education. Plus, I am very tired of Los Angeles. It would be a huge step for me and I feel I must make it. If that actually happens, I definitely write a book up there. I have a story in mind that will definitely be worth writing.

Life is still hard but good.

By the way, somehow when I made a express deposit at my bank, they lost my check. And it seems that I can't do anything about it. Very depressing. All that work lost. I guess when it rains it pours. I request that if you are of the praying persuation, please intecede the Almighty on my behalf. I need it. I hope there is purpose in this.




Friday, November 19, 2004

I loved being up at five in the morning, driving my car with the windows down and feeling that brisk air hit my face. Seeing the sun rise in my rearviewmirror makes me want to keep on driving till I reach panama.

I've wanting to go to Cuba lately. I want to live on the shore and go fishing for Marlin everyday. I can imagine fighting for hours against these monsters till my hands are completely raw and my back broken. Then would I pour the cool salt water over my head and I would fight some more. Then I would tie that giant fish to my boat and if any sharks come up to feast on my bounty, I will shoot them with my Thompson Machine Gun.

I was recently thinking about Dinosaurs and how massive their internal organs must have been. Can you imagine the size of a Brachiosaurus' heart? It was hundreds and hundreds of pounds pumping blood through a body that weighted over 60 tons.


Thursday, November 18, 2004

My recent days have been so full of mix feelings. I don't know what to think sometimes. I am both tired, frustrated, excited, sad, determined and goofy and the same time. I just want to climb to the highest point in the land and scream. And then maybe dive into the sea and live there for 40 years. Maybe take over a small, tropical island and make the natives bring me fish so that I can prepare a great feast for them. And then take a nine iron to my neighbors, for all the crack that they dealt.

I'm all over the place.

Life is funny right now. Unexpected. Confusing. Very hard but very good.

"I'm a wheel."

I think I'm going to dive into the cold water today. It calls me like an old love. Yearning to feel my warm touch. And want to feel its dark, deep, cold heart. Let it wash over me. I want to feel the pleasure again.

Friday, November 05, 2004

It has been difficult as of late to get on the internet because of my roommates purchase of laptops and our house going wireless. I think that I need to bring my computer to Whittier and install a wireless card.

I'm as sick as a dog right now. I caught a bad cold that has forced me to miss work and have some very unpleasent sleepless nights. My cough is getting so bad that my chest is hurting.

I just finished a clinical at Foothill Presbyterian Hospital which was a lot of fun. I some how managed to suppress my cold till after I got out of there.

Life is tough right now. I got no money but I can't do anything about that because in two months I'll have my EMT-B certificate and I can start working. Though $8.25 an hour is pretty bad, at least I will enjoy my work. And it's just a stepping stone to Medical school. However many years it may take me to finish up my requierments to get in. Maybe I'll just be an RN.