Monday, March 21, 2005

Part of me wants to respond to life as it happens on this site yet another tries to tell me that I should rather write ideas, concepts and other nueral synapse firings that may be of interest. I have three things on my mind right now.

1) The seemingly impossible formation of the santified soul.

2) The concept of death on the mind/body and how the physical construct is affected by the spiritual.

3) The fear of love.

I've tried to write about these problems before but it seems that as far as I try to strech my mind to its limits, I stop at this brick wall which will not let me go further. Have you ever had that feeling? Or thought pattern? Where you are trying to desperatly think about something yet it seems that a connection in your mind is cut off? I've experienced that feeling a lot lately. Any kind of linear thought is impossible. Maybe I should eat more fish.

I looked at some pictures today that I haven't seen in three months. Those images seem like they were taken years ago.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Happy St. Patrick's Day! I bid you a blessing on this Holy feast day. If you don't know the actual story behind the day, check out this site.

My computer is fixed yet my harddrive got wiped out. That means I lost all my pictures, papers, music and other things that I miss. At least Darren downloaded all my mp3s the day before the crash. So I will be researching some ipod hacks to get my music back.

I'm off to drink now.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

I'm at Whittier High again. Teaching chemistry. A student brought in an Aphex Twin CD so I'm playing it while they take a written test.

My dreams as of late have been very vivid. Last night was one about going on a canoe trip with my exgirlfriend's family and some random asian girl who was my girlfriend on the trip. I kept falling out of my canoe and losing my shoes.

It seems like every night I have a dream with a new "girlfriend." Like a new love interest. In whatever dream I have, it seems like I have an established relationship, with history, it's just she's different every night. One night it was Natalie Portman, which was awesome. Another night, it was this spanish girl who didn't speak a lick of english, in which the setting was a war-torn countryside of Spain. I think I speak better spanish in my dreams rather than in real life. The alonly thing that seems to remain constant is that these girls have dark hair.

I got about an hour left of class. I have to lecture on Cosine angle errors regarding the Doppler Shift.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

So the computer is in critical condition and I must take to the ER tomorrow. Poop. I hope I don't lose my hard drive. There are a lot of pictures on there I would hate to lose.

Ever had one of those moments when everything in life going fine and then, all of a sudden, you feel that things are "too right?" That happened to me this week. And things have not been "so right." Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day.

If you happen to be a girl in high school, and somehow come upon my blog, I have a request for you. Please, don't hit on your substitute teacher. Now, you can do your little flirty looks, we don't care. Ask us all about ourselves, we won't answer every question. Heck, compliment him on his looks, we really know that you don't think we are attractive. But please, please, don't ask us on dates. And don't offer us anykind of sexual favors. We are very uncomfortable about that. We hate it. And we are not interested in slutty girls, let alone anyone under the age of 20. Just to let you know.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

I was reading the blog of our good friend Joey Detroit Sanders and I thought about how I need to write more on this feeble site. Realizing that there are lurkers from many different places checking the site out, I might as well make it worth their stay.

I'm having computer problems. My internet recently has been running slower and slower so I decided that maybe my computer needed to "cleaned up" and I bought some software to defrag and check for any problems. As soon as I tried to clean, my connection stopped working. For some reason my airport card has decided to not receive any information and I'm out of luck. My warranty on the card just ran out so I going to try and reinstall the thing today. Including, physically taking out the airport card and hoping I won't have to buy a new one. If it doesn't work out today, I might be paying a visit to Fry's Electronics tonight.

I had a good talk with my old EMT professor yesterday. Talked about medical school and the direction I wanted to head into. It was also the first time I got to talk about "The Calling" with someone in the field. He's getting involved with Doctors without Borders very soon. He also gave me the low down on all the ambulance companies in SoCal and which ones I should try and apply with and ones I should stay away from.

I'm teaching a drafting class right now. I wish I took drafting in high school. The students in class actually work and are creating some pretty cool stuff.

Spring break is coming up and I'm starting to wonder where I can go camping. I have this desire to go somewhere in the Sierra Nevadas. I need cold weather, pine trees, and a chance to see a sasquatch. Willow Creek? That actually sounds pretty cool. I can go to the Bigfoot museum there.

I've been listening to a lot of Hip Hop lately. Hence the Buck 65 post. I had this girlfriend about three years ago that always thought it was weird that I listened to that music. She thought that way because I'm white(By the way, one of my pet peeves is the idea that your ethnicity dictates the style of music you listen to) and I guess whitey is not suppose to listen to black music. So anyways, there has been a lot of Buck, Jay-Z and Biz Markie in my car and room as of late.

I must teach now. And must fix computer. Help computer. Stop all the downloading!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

For Those with the Sensibilities.

Buck Posted by Hello


I give you Buck 65.

A self-proclaimed b-boy from Nova Scotia that sounds like a mix between Biz Markie and Tom Waits.

I leave you with the words of "Track 13"

As i strolled aimlessly edges of sacrement one day
I wasn't looking and died by accident
With sugar on my tongue and a breeze in each armpit
I descended to heaven cross-legged by magic carpet
Carried along through tunnels by a flow of waves
I met this soul with the role of issuing halos
His name was aurora, one time bet-maker
Everything he sang like chet baker
He explained the significance of the halos intentions
The way that each incriment of its dimensions
Bore a correlation to the core of your essence
With factors including the learning of lessons
Things that matter the most here being
Reflect and direct on the gleam that your seeing
Overall size of the particle density
As it corresponds to the mission intensity
Well over 400 factors with gradiance
Come into play with each new halos radiance
With congratualations and repeating my name
He also assured me that no two are the same
It allows you a glimpse of each persons spirit
Without having to come anywhere near it
So with halo in place and my thankfulness pledged
My resident status in heaven was full-fledged
One day in eternity after riding a teter-totter with God
I fell asleep with my feet in the water of a lake by a tree
In a quiet little place where i could be by myself with the sun on my face
A little while later i awoke to a rumbling
Opened my eyes to see a scene so humbling
I couldn't quite catch my breath
And my pulse doubled as the lake looked like it boiled as it bubbled
But instead of sclading my skin it was soothing
And it only felt like my imagination was melting
And trickling into a pool of fluid intuition
As secret splendor came to fruition
My own eyes surrendered as rapture found its purpose
As beautiful harmonies danced on the surface
Abstract shapes of all colors first did a dance and then floated
From each bubbled bursted
Literally billions of magnificent things
Would quake and quiver on top of the lake
I glanced left and right to see if maybe anyone else was dreaming this dream
When i turned all the way with my back to the spectre
I saw there an angel in the form of perfection
I felt paralyzed and my voice tried to hide
She glided and gently moved her hips from side to side
Without moving her feet, her hand held out in front of her
Calm and collected my hopes in her palm
The closer she came, and something about her
The most soothing sound grew louder and louder
Intense pleasure ran the length of my spine
As i pulled her towards me with the stength of my mind
When our hands finally touched she told me she loved me
And the shapes from the lake filled the whole sky above me
Instead of our tongues we spoke with our eyes
While music and color pulsed from the skys
It shines
Our edges are dreams running lengthwise
Our secret wishes fluttering lightyears
We fashioned inferences in disguise shapes together
You are the space between my exhales
Our way of understanding is eyes closed navigation
We twist slivers of unconsciousness into sacrement
Ghosts wlatz around our backs
Our ideas converge to form corners to hide in

Quicker than dreams we traded our charms
Then spent eternity in each others arms
It was a miracle in heavan
You could see it and hear it everywhere
The synthesis of two souls and one spirit
Our halos were the exact same size
Here are some pictures from my recent trip to Mexico.



The Barrio Posted by Hello

the crew Posted by Hello

Mariella (aka Little Hazel) Posted by Hello

Mojo Emms Posted by Hello

The house Posted by Hello

Hammer, hammer, hammer Posted by Hello

Friday, March 04, 2005

I happened to be listening to this song last night after talking about sad times and depression with some other guys. It felt so right to hear it at that particular time.
Tom Waits everyone.

Well the moon is broken
And the sky is cracked
Come on up to the house
The only things that you can see
Is all that you lack
Come on up to the house

All your cryin don’t do no good
Come on up to the house
Come down off the cross
We can use the wood
Come on up to the house

Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
The world is not my home
I’m just a passin thru
Come on up to the house

There’s no light in the tunnel
No irons in the fire
Come on up to the house
And your singin lead soprano
In a junkman’s choir
You gotta come on up to the house

Does life seem nasty, brutish and short
Come on up to the house
The seas are stormy
And you can’t find no port
Come on up to the house
There’s nothin in the world

Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
The world is not my home
I’m just a passin thru
Come on up to the house


There’s nothin in the world
That you can do
You gotta come on up to the house
And you been whipped by the forces
That are inside you
Come on up to the house
Well you’re high on top
Of your mountain of woe
Come on up to the house
Well you know you should surrender
But you can’t let go
You gotta come on up to the house


Come on up to the house
Come on up to the house
The world is not my home
I’m just a passin thru
Come on up to the house

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

If you ever have the chance to go on a house building project in Mexico, do it. What a great time. To see the face of a person receiving a home is amazing. I can't describe it. I kind of feel that I don't even deserve to feel that emotion. I wish I could do it every weekend. And as I was riding home, I thought how great it would be to go back with my friends and show them what I saw. Hopefully I'll put up some pictures next week.

I found out I passed my national registry exam last week so I can now work anywhere in the US.

Substitute teaching is good.

It seems that everything is coming up Milhouse. Weird. That hasn't happened in awhile. Life isn't perfect and problems come up but nothing big. Looking back about six months ago, how different it was, and how bad it was, I'm amazed where it all turned out and where I'm at while feeling about 10 years older.

I'm feeling a bit lonely these days but I have a feeling somebody will come around the corner for me. I was just checking out my church's website during 2nd period World History and I think I have crush on someone in student ministries.