As some of you know, in my EMT training I was fortunate enough to deliver three infants into the world while working at General Hospital in Downtown. Though it was incredibly disgusting and messy, it was an awesome experience that I will never forget.

Today, I was Downtown to get my ambulance driver's license when I hear a large black woman yelling from across the street. Immediatly I turn around thinking something was wrong or that there was somekind of emergency going on. As I saw this woman come closer to me, she started waving saying, "Doctor, doctor, hello!" It took me a second to react because I haven't been called doctor since my clinicals. And then I realized who I was looking at. The last time I saw this woman she was in the birthing position and I now she was pushing a stroller with a beautiful five and half month old girl. It was November 8th at about 3am when I delivered her.
We talked for a few minutes and I walked away amazed for a couple reasons.

1. How did the mother recognize me?
2. Out of all the people in LA, how did I get to see one of three children I delivered.

I felt pretty charged up after that. My steps are light again. I also found that I want a black child in the future. I can make that happen in one of two ways...

Question

I need to get a new cellphone and my plan with verizon just ended. Should I stay or should I go now? How many friends do I have with cingular? Do I need a camera phone? Are there any phones that look like panthers?

Why are so many people looking at my site? Who are you?

Pope Benedict XVI = Awesome

This makes a lot of sense

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous! You drink everyone under the table.

Who's Your Inner European?

Do you ever feel like you are starting to regress? To fall back into a nature in which you once were? I feel like that is happening to me. The old anger is coming back. The old feelings are coming back. I look at myself in the mirror and see my old self. That scares me.

There are a few different kinds of despair and I feel like I'm going through one of them. A despair in which one is defiant to be one's self and wills one's self to sulk in his/her depravity. I know that in order to gain myself I must continually lose myself. Yet in my own ways I stand by my imperfect self and expect everyone to conform to my will. This is so wrong.

I've been thinking too much lately. It's the main reason why I have not been able to write. I've thinking about the past and obsessing over lost causes. I care so much others that.

In the past two weeks, I have been blessed to see beauty in life that I haven't seen in many months. You could even say that I haven't seen beauty in over a year. Beauty that is not of this world but indescribable beauty that comes with sacred joy. Signs of God. I started to see again, the wonder of nature, the mystery of life, and the solitude of my imperfect soul. But now that joy in starting to hide again. And this time I don't want to forget it or let go of it. I hope that it comes back tomorrow. I know that there are hard days in life yet the darkness that surrounded my life over the past year was too great. I don't want to go back.

I was thinking today of the burden that has been with me for awhile. It's the passion of my life and the desire to do. For much time now, I've been wanting to go to Africa after medical school. To live with the people there and help. While this burden is still there, I have a new that is coming out. And this one is a surprise to me. I've been wanting to go to medical school in Oregon for awhile now, and to get out of the LA area. But this has changed. I want and I need to stay in LA. I desire to help people here. I have found a love for the people here and want to be part of saving this city. Our first world city is now a third world in its spirituality. And I want to be a defiant light here. A soldier in the mist of the enemy. Maybe God has called me to this battlefield.

The youth of today is lost.

At least at Whittier High School.

Never have I heard such misogynistic language in all my life. I can't believe what these boys say to the girls in their class. They treat them like shit. And these girls take it. It infuriates me. For the girls out there: Have you ever walked past a Construction yard and been whistled and yelled at? Imagine that construction worker sitting next to you in class and salivating over your shoulder. It's a wonder how I can compose myself with this going on in my classroom. Seven years ago I would have back in the LA court system for losing my temper. I figure as much as I try to tell them(or yell at them), they won't learn till someone beats it into them or the system gets them for either sexual harassment or domestic abuse. Yet how many people will have to suffer till that time?

The month of May is coming up. Historically it has never been a good month for me with such examples as the infamous 5/25, getting hit by a car, getting dumped, going to jail, etc. I wonder what will happen this time around. It's not that I'm superstitious. At least I hope I'm not. Maybe May will be a great month for me.

If you are a resident of California, I encourage ya'll to sign up with the California Organ and Tissue Donor Registry. It's a great way, in case something tragic happens to you, that you can still give even from the grave.