My recent days have been so full of mix feelings. I don't know what to think sometimes. I am both tired, frustrated, excited, sad, determined and goofy and the same time. I just want to climb to the highest point in the land and scream. And then maybe dive into the sea and live there for 40 years. Maybe take over a small, tropical island and make the natives bring me fish so that I can prepare a great feast for them. And then take a nine iron to my neighbors, for all the crack that they dealt.

I'm all over the place.

Life is funny right now. Unexpected. Confusing. Very hard but very good.

"I'm a wheel."

I think I'm going to dive into the cold water today. It calls me like an old love. Yearning to feel my warm touch. And want to feel its dark, deep, cold heart. Let it wash over me. I want to feel the pleasure again.