I'm almost done with my EMT class. I just took one of my finals, a test for LA County, which was HARD, and I have a skill final on Friday. If I pass both of these exams, I will able to take the National RegistryExam sometime in mid-January. After all the exams I took, all the clinical hours(60+), I still feel like I'm a novice in emergency pre-hospital care. I still feel like I should know so much more. I'm not satisfied.
Today I've been looking back at the past six months and realizing how much shit I've been through. I haven't been happy in a long time. I want to be happy. I want to be at a point in life where I can say, "Wow, life is great." It's been awhile. And I don't know if that time will come soon. It seems that everything is slipping through my fingers. I know that everyone has gone through these times, I myself have been through them before, but at this time, I've never felt so alone. So helpless. I hope that I'm suppose to feel this helplessness. It maybe this weakness that helps me through this time.
2 comments:
may the grace and peace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit....
and then in the same thought i am mauled and crumpled up. this HAS been the most intensly difficult and painful, stressful, depressing and all together fucked.
im so so glad you took that test.
i have too much. still. this is not how it should be. sure, last semester was stressful as hell: but why? cause i wanted an A in every class. and i did...except for that one you helped me with where the equipment kept screwing up. 90 hours of editing is sick.
im not good. today...i guess...the light comeing through the windows say so....is the 4th day of no sleeep. at all. what is wrong. i forget how to spell. of course i cant eat.
all i can think about is the psych exam at 10 this morning that if i get less than a 66 (i KNOW that is low...but so is my brain....i am so weak i am out of breath when i walk up to my apartment!
tomorrow. argh.
last day. maybe.
forget it. im just fked right now. no sleep and inability to eat or anything will do it to ya.
im glad you are in that emt school. you are going to be an amazing medical professional. you will be.
amour triste
Talkin about shitty times I've just been through the worst year of my life, all I can say is keep your head up because life has a way of balancing out.
Mine isn't balanced yet but day by day things get better.
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