Sometimes the pain is so great that all you want to do is cut yourself open so that it may bleed out of you. To cut open your chest and take out the very organ that causes this pain. I can't escape it. I cannot run away. It will not leave me. Why do I feel like I'm alone in this? This grief is consuming me. I will never give my heart away like this again. I will never fully love again. I feel like a shadow of myself. How can I be fully honest again? Everyone is a liar. Everyone is a thief. And I tried to live in a world where I thought love could conquer all. And the worst part of this feeling is that I still love regardless. I can't stop. Why won't God harden my heart? Why won't He let me forget? Why does He let me feel so much when she feels nothing? What am I too learn? Why do I still love? Help me God because no one else can. No one knows my pain but you do. And I have nothing left to fight my old foes who have come at my doorstep, after being away for years. I'm almost ready to give up.