I speak in front of my church this Sunday about a story that happened in South East Asia, Laos to be exact. And if there was any anxiety about this trip before I went, it was that I would have to speak in front of my church body. Now, I've spoken in front of a couple thousand people at Biola. But that was prepared student/political nonsense that is easy to remember and say without even thinking. On Sunday I get to speak about experience and feelings. The latter being something I am seldom comfortable talking about to one person let alone 400. So I must prepare for that.

And I'm also seeing Kelly's Dad and stepmom on Sunday evening. Hopefully I won't do or say anything stupid which lately it seems I am prone to do.

But probably the single most anxiety laced, stomach turning nervousness that I will experience in the coming week and hopefully for the next month is watching the Cubs in the playoffs. Just thinking about the game today puts me on edge. And on Saturday I will actually be at Dodger Stadium watching game 3 of the NLDS. I think I will wear a diaper. I've been reading how the Dodger's are the perfect spoilers, how the Cubs look tired, about their 100 years of futility, about this thing or that...

Such redemption this baseball fan seeks. Hope springs eternal yet doubt plagues the mind.

One year ago I didn't get to hear or see the Cubs get swept in the NLDS. I was in a hospital bed with a dead phone, no TV, no radio, and no visitors awaiting an MRI that took 3 days to be taken. Life is a bit different now though.

A few years ago I got a concussion from rolling off the hood of a car that nearly ran me over. While I was concussed and walking back to my house in Whittier, Brent helped me inside, and we sat on the couch where I asked Brent of questions. Since it had seemed I lost my short term memory I ask, "Do I have a girlfriend?" Brent said, "No." "Do I have a job?" Again Brent said, "No." I then responded, "I'm a loser." So things are a bit different now. Though I do find it a strange coincidence that that concussion happened in 2003, when the Cubs were five outs away from going to the World Series. Now, since I got a concussion in Laos this summer, do the Cubs go all the way?