I'm sitting at a really nice hotel lobby in Yosemite, typing away, as the wedding party and family of Tisa and Kevin are having their rehearsal dinner. The Gloyds snatched me up in their Euro van this morning. I found out it's an awful feeling being around such gorgeous nature while on crutches. I can't hike. I can't wander too far. And I hate the feeling of being helpless and having to rely on others for the simplest things.

One of the things that I have learned about myself through this injury is how much I value my independence. I like to go places on my terms and through my own self reliance. If I'm hungry, I eat. If I'm thirsty, I drink. If I want to go somewhere, I go. I'm a individualist. A typical American. Is this good? I don't know. Maybe not. If I want to be a married man, which I do, I can see some obvious conflicts of interest that may arise. A man cannot be a individualist his whole life if he wants a family.

Though throw this situation I've been learning to receive things(money, help, grace, etc.), and realize that there is no way I can "repay" the favor, and that I shouldn't. I've never had the problem of helping someone and expecting anything in return. But when I'm on the other end, I feel guilty. Guilty of receiving a free gift. I find this strange. I guess I realize just how much of a prideful person I can be. Now I just wonder, how can rectify this. I'm sure I myself cannot do it but rely on God who sanctifies me, through his Holy Spirit, as I mature not only as a man but through faith that He has given me.

Wow.

I try not to get too personal on this blog and especially not use religious language to convey a point, but sometimes I just can't help but do it. If I'm going to explain matters of personal character I have incorporate my faith because they are intermingled one in the same.

Anyways, last Wednesday I got a new cast. It's hard, which is nice, and will come off on the 31st. At that point I will get a boot, which I can take off, and put a little pressure on. I'll still be on crutches for the time being. Hopefully by the beginning of December, I will be able walk without crutches and finally be able to work and drive.

It's nice to get out of the house right now. I really appreciate that. It's a lot cooler up here. Temperature wise. The leaves are changing. And as a certain grandmother would say, "Pretty, pretty, pretty."

I'm bummed that I'm missing Dumas this weekend along with Tom Waits. Bad timing. I'm also bummed to be missing bunch of Halloween parties this Friday and Saturday. Someone needs to throw a Veterans day party.

And one last thing. I found out my bill for surgery. $15,000. It's less than what I thought I would pay, but it's still 15 grand. On Wednesday I find out if I can get it lowered. If not, then I'll explore the idea of a fundraiser tentatively called, "The Michael Sycz Rock 'N Roll Circus."